i don’t like when I get the wrong amount of water when I’m cooking
rice. I added too much last night and I have clumps of goo..you can’t
even see individual grains…and it tastes like freakin’ paper mache.

i see microsoft is going to be branding spaces with it’s new ‘Live’
way of doing things…you better test it first, you dorks. and it
better work on firefox! *more idle threats*

what is the proper protocol to follow when somebody is trying to talk to you at your cube and a horrendous fart is threating to erupt? please let me know. not 5 minutes ago I had to maintain conversation and independent thought while a 300psi force was breaching my anal gate, ready to propel me off my chair.

i think i have to visit the mens room now. has anyone ever made whitecaps in toilet water with the sheer force of their ass wind? I’m about to.

EDIT: That was awesome.