i’ll give you a scenario. pretend I’m married, and I have some issue from a past relationship that causes me to have a lot of mistrust in my partners. I constantly question my partner – where she’s been, why she took so long, who she was on the phone with and why, where’s she going, and so on. Being suspicious about my partner’s activities is eventually going to chip away at her good will towards the relationship. Every time I show her that I can’t trust her and let go of the past, is another little bit of Resistance against her. Eventually, this is going to add up to Resent.

She’s going to Resent that I can’t trust her, when I am supposed to be so closely tied to her in a relationship. At some point, there’s going to be Rejection. She’s going to quit giving to the relationship so openly and fully and eventually Reject me every so often. And lastly, there’s Repression. Both partners go with the flow and avoid confrontation just to keep the peace and hold on to something that’s not even there anymore. At this point this really isn’t a functioning relationship anymore. Have any of you ever been through these 4 R’s in a relationship you’ve been in, in the past? I know I’ve been.

Everytime you assume the worst about somebody, regardless of whether you’re right or not, you hurt that person. And invariably, people will live up to your expectations.
-Anthony Robbins

Say high school was a difficult period of your life. I’d say it’s probably one of the most difficult periods of many people’s lives. I know the times I wasn’t confused or felt outcast or left out, I was wondering if that’s what the rest of my life was supposed to be like. I bear physical scars because of how I interpreted my success socially in high school. There is so much to life than high school. Watch Billy Talent’s “Nothing to Lose” video. School is so miniscule, and the rules are much more ridiculously complex than real life. It’s not real.

Look back. The popular people are still the same monkeys with the same friends, working at a gas station. They haven’t expanded their minds, their social network, or gone beyond the town borders. If you weren’t popular in school and you’re living your life like you’re still stuck in between those 4 educational walls, you’re missing out, and pushing people away. If you act like people shouldn’t like you and people should mistreat you because they always have, they will. Eventually, people live up to your expectations of them.

Everytime you assume the worst about somebody, regardless of whether you’re right or not, you hurt that person. And invariably, people will live up to your expectations.
-Anthony Robbins

How do you turn it around? Ask yourself every time you feel resistance, what else could this mean? Usually, people have their own needs to meet and will set those as priority. Honestly, you and I are not that significant in everyone else’s life that they do things simply to piss you off or cause you pain. Most people make priority in meeting their needs over your own. When a friend is late for a meeting with you, don’t assume it’s because they’re a jerk, or they hate you. Assume they have needs of their own to meet. Assume they may have had something hold them up. Assume the best. Look at an alternative to all the negative reasons you can come up with.

When you assume the best of people, they will invariably live up to your expectations.

Advertisements