my presentation went over well. I was getting kudos from the
people in the right places, even the technophobe principals (i write
custom software for a school division) were excited by the application.
yay!

according to a recent survey of one person, 98% of the time nekrekker
listens to heavy metal. that’s astounding. using my math skills, and
knowing the only other music he listens to is justin
timberlake..hmm.  if he listens to music 8 hours a day, 7 days a
week, 25 days a month, that means he listens to justin timberlake’s
‘rock your body’ 28 hours a month. oh my. might as well call him a pop
music fan.

I’m dating someone, as previously hinted at. i find the whole dating
thing a little wierd. i’m not sure if it’s small town attitude or what,
but all my past relationships have been – "ok, we’ve met, now let’s
latch on." – yeah, the whole steady thing. sure, i’ve went on what
would be considered ‘dates’ with those girls, but usually there was a
full blown girlfriend/boyfriend thing with expectations and rules and
stuff. this is so totally different, and I’m not really quite at the
point of wrapping my head around it.

i mean, in a lot of ways, it is good. my last relationship was the 4
year thing with snuffleupagus, and, not to take anything away from that
or say I regret the whole relationship entirely, but there was a lot of stuff
about her that was really problematic from the start that I either
ignored or wasn’t seeing. The question I ask myself is if a longer
dating period would’ve exposed those things or not. (vs. a full-on see
each other every free minute steady relationship). I think living
together definately brought a lot of things out that wouldn’t have
surfaced as much, too, so i’m not sure where that leaves me.

I get the feeling because of my experiences in relationships I’m a lot
more leery now of things – I am able to see and analyze the ‘little red flags’ now. at the same time though, when
you’re first feeling each other out, you’re both usually trying to be
on your absolutely best behaviour, and still getting that twitterfucked
feeling every time you see each other, so that can still cloud
judgement.

the other thing about being on your best behaviour is
there’s a an element of challenge to it all. don’t get me wrong – i
really like trying new things and going out, but hell, a lot of the
times I’d like to just curl up with her and cuddle and watch a movie,
hang out, trade pirate jokes, something – ANYTHING where I don’t have
to constantly be going "how the fuck am I going to top this for the
next date?" – and "is she expecting me to top this next time?"..I come
from the school of thought that it’s not what you’re doing that
enriches the quality of your life, but who you do it with – and I’d
like to stay in that mindset.

I guess what I’m getting at is that it’s not always cut and dry, or
easy, or stressfree. But at the same time, it’s exciting, it’s new, and
it kind of forces me to be a little creative and push out of my little
shell.

that’s my little bit of a brain puke for the day.

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