well well well.

the weekend was ok. definately didnt go as planned. turned out girlie
didn’t get a sitter and was a no show. it was pretty dissapointing, and
I’ve lost a bit of sleep over it. I think I saw it coming , though, and
was ok until Saturday, when people started in with the badgering. "Are
you going to be ok, you must be sad, you’ve been waiting for this for a
while", "Do you think she didn’t find a sitter on purpose so she didn’t
have to meet you". No, I didn’t up until now, but thanks for giving me
that to chew on. All that bullshit.

It got to a point where I was pretty frustrated on Saturday and went
home way early to listen to some loud angry music just to be able to
get it out of my head so I could get some fucking sleep.  Until
this morning, I had my heart quite set on not saying a damn thing about
it and being beligerant and cranky and not blogging at all. But the
only thing that would achieve is to make me crankier. So here I is.

I’m not decided, but I’m leaning towards not pursuing that chick any
furthur. She gets an F for effort in her report card. She had 3 weeks
to find a sitter, and we were even as accomodating in trying to
convince her to come out when she got phoned on Friday that we invited
her to bring her daughter, which would’ve been fine. Even if it was a
case of last minute nervous anxiety, meh,..I still sucked it up.

What’s next?

"Fuck it! Love, a paradox of meaning.

Oh Love, make way for breeding."

syl – love