so yesterday I went to a tanning salon (not yoko‘s old one, but one on circle drive) for the purpose of buying a few minutes to get my tan nice and even. apparently, the
guy at the front desk was a car salesman. here’s our conversation. (i wish I was making this up)

Me: Hi. I’ve been around looking at salons to check prices on tanning minutes. Got any specials this month?



Tanned Dude: Buddy, you can stop
looking. We got the best deals on minutes anywhere in Saskatoon. I’m
not lying to you here. Our beds are the hottest there are. We take no
appointments – it’s walk in only. You don’t have to phone us for shit,
just walk right in. You look a little pale anyways, I won’t burn you
man, we’ll start you off with just 6 minutes today.
*quickly walking to a room*


 
CHECK THIS OUT! *staring maniacally at me, pointing at tanning bed* Look at these fucking bulbs, man. These are $40 dollar bulbs. Everywhere else in Saskatoon uses, like, $9 superstore bulbs. These are SAFE! *looking intently at me*


Me: mmm hmm. *scared and backing off*


Tanned Dude: *leading me back to
front room*  Tanning is a staple of life, man. And, I’m telling you,
you can’t go wrong doing it here. I’m going to give you our deal on
minutes, and give you lotion and goggles at a buck over cost. (*getting
them out*. We’ll get you going with 7 minutes today so you can get used
to it. And dude, there’s nothing but fucking gorgeous hot women working
and tanning here.



Me: *raises eyebrow at tanned
dude, looking very slowly around at the completely empty salon, then back
at the tanned dude* mm hmm.



Tanned Dude: *doesn’t get it* So
how many minutes do you want? The first bake is free, let’s get you in
there. *pushing lotion and goggles at me*.



Me: uh….*trying to take things down a notch* I’ll take 100 minutes


Tanned Dude: Alright, we’re going to put you in for 8 minutes. get in there! ROOM 3! *another maniacal stare*


Me: *on way to room 3* what just happened?

yeah, he thought i was a hard sell or something.. god,
salesman like that freak me out. after one of them gets done with me,
(even when I’m going in to buy a specific thing and I know the price), I can’t help but feel like
I’ve been bent over. turns out i’m a little burnt in the pasty areas
today, so I won’t be going back for a day or so.

cologne test 2: chrome azzaro today. It’s very simular (i think) to romance,but
more subtle. I prefer a scent that doesn’t beat people over the head. I
think I have a winnnnah! thanks for the other suggestions on the last
post, ladies..I’ll be sexy smelling for some time to come.. I’ll have to try all of them eventually..

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